Diary of a Mad Mommy!

A lot of times people ask me “why don’t you write about being a mother?” “Why don’t you give advice about being a new mom?” And the simplest way I can put it is that, my blog is meant to be the complete opposite of that. I don’t want to be a mom on here. I don’t want to be where you go to confirm that you’re doing a good job. You’re doing great mama. Now, before you go thinking I’m a bad mom because I don’t want to talk about being a mom. All I’m saying is that this ain’t for that. So let me explain. As a new mom, your whole life revolves around your child.

You forget about yourself, your husband, the rest of your family. That’s okay for the first few months, I read somewhere that it takes a new mom 4 months & 23 days to adjust to her new life. With that said does it look like the one time I get to have time to myself so that I can write… THAT I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE THING IM RUNNING AWAY FROM?!!!!!!!! 
 

I love being a mother. I love being able to stay home and take care of my baby & see him grow more & more everyday. I love that I had a baby with someone who is patient & loving. I also love my alone time! I love not having to rush a shower or a meal. I love going out with my friends without having to get home soon. I love putting on my headphones and just losing myself in my writing. I do get tired of hearing “how’s being a mom?” “What’s motherhood like?” “how’s the baby?” Every now & then I want to hear “do you need a drink? Some bud? Some other heavy drug that will land you in rehab?” (Kidding bout the last part)

Moms don’t always want to talk about being moms!!!!! Alone time is so precious once you have a baby, i don’t want to spend it talking about the baby. I don’t think alone time is the problem, I think the problem is the guilt & the shame that comes with wanting to take that time. When you have a baby, the universe expects you to be with the baby 24 hours a day. When you are out alone the first question is “where did you leave the baby?” “You left the baby?!” Yes, I did. With his father. The other human being who I made the baby with. Society makes you feel sooooooo bad about having alone time that you start to think you don’t deserve it, that you’re the worst mother in the world because for one second you chose yourself. I’ve only been a mom for three months but the friends I’ve asked tell me mom guilt never goes away. Cool, so I’ll listen to society and stay my ass home. Now I have postpartum depression, anxiety, a bunch of mental health issues because I didn’t take time to remember to love myself because you know, society. Then its like wow so you forgot about yourself, you let yourself go. WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM US MOTHERS?!! WE ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN!

That is why I don’t blog about motherhood because this is my time to feel like maybe im still part of the world. Where I get to talk about things everyone can relate to. Where a mom doesn’t have to feel confined to only topics about where to get coupons to maximize your diaper purchase or how to clear up that nasty baby rash. And here’s hoping that my blog can also give other moms a space to feel like even for just one second they aren’t part of this secret cult as society makes motherhood out to be.  

Please don’t make me feel like a bad mother because I don’t want to talk about being a mother. There is so much more to me than being a wavy momma. I have enough to worry about with not letting myself go, snapping back, this hair loss and now you want me to worry about blogging about being a mom??? No. There’s no list this time around, no advice, no tips. This is a disclaimer post if you will. To leave me alone, to leave moms alone if for one second they don’t want to think about being a mom!!!!!!! Take care of mommas, love mommas, give mommas a break. It’s really a lot of work to be a mom. We’re not bad moms for just wanting a minute to regroup! Thank you.  

I want to dedicate this post to my good friend Erica E. Thank you for opening up to me about your journey in motherhood. Thank you for being so honest with me and constantly telling me “girlllll me too” everytime I feel alone.

Author:

I’m Rossy ( Row-z ). I am a mother and a writer. Im 28 years young and im still figuring myself out, but i realllly like the woman i’m getting to know. i love all things food, sleep & wavy fits. Im not even sure where i want to take this. My need to write is so much bigger than my need to understand why.

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